After having a baby, many couples find themselves focusing all of their emotional energy on the baby. They have trouble remembering their life as a couple. As each partner focuses their attention on the baby and their own needs, you may drift apart. So, you both need to work at maintaining your own relationship as a couple. Sit down together and talk about what has changed in your lives. Share what is important to you now.

Take a few moments every day to actually touch and hold your partner. So often new parents feel "touched out" from holding, rocking, burping, and changing a new baby. They forget that they need to be cuddled too. Just adding an extra hug a day can make a difference. Here are some other ways to reawaken your relationship:

After having a baby, parents usually do not agree totally on how to raise a child. What it most important is that you do one of the following three things:

1. Decide you can each do something your way, and that it will not make a difference.
2. Decide that one of you has a better way for some things, and do things that way.
3. Find a third way to do something that is a compromise of what you each want to do.

For instance, you can each burp the baby in your own way. That will not make any difference. On the other hand, having a routine at bedtime often helps a baby sleep better. One of you may have found the right routine for your baby. Even though you like rocking the baby, your partner may have more luck patting the baby on the back and humming a song. You decide to do the patting routine and spend more time rocking at other times. When your toddler starts to throw temper tantrums, you may believe some sort of punishment works better. Your partner may think ignoring it works better. Your neighbor suggests using "time outs," which turns out to be a compromise. Remember that communication is very important in caring for your baby and yourselves, too!