Taking Care of Our Own
Building Emotional Wellness
Oftentimes, we focus on the physical aspects of wellness alone and don’t give much attention to other dimensions of
wellness. Check out the following tips and tools for supporting your emotional wellness!
Emotional Wellness: What is it?
Emotional wellness can be defined as an awareness and acceptance of a wide range of feelings in yourself and
others.1
Why Be Emotionally Well?
An emotionally well person:
- Understands his/her strengths and limitations
- Knows how to seek help and support
- Can effectively deal with stress
Wellness Checkpoint: How am I doing?
- I see challenges and change as opportunities for growth.
- I accept responsibility for my actions.
- I am able to laugh at life and myself.
- I feel good about myself.
- I am able to cope with stress and tension.
- I am able to express my feelings.2
If you can answer ‘yes’ to all of these statements, you’re probably an emotionally well person. If you can relate
to only a few, look at the areas in which you could improve and start making some positive changes.
Emotional Intelligence 3
One way to improve your emotional well-being is to start building emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence
(EI) is the ability to identify, express, understand, and regulate emotions.4 Keep reading for helpful tips on how to
build your emotional intelligence.
Building Emotional Intelligence
- Learn to express your feelings. Label how you feel instead of labeling people or situations.
- “I feel impatient.” vs. “This is ridiculous.”
- “I feel hurt and bitter.” vs. “You are an insensitive jerk.”
- “I feel afraid.” vs. “You are driving like an idiot.”
- Learn to tell the difference between thoughts and feelings.
- Thoughts: “I feel like you don’t care.”
- Feelings: “I feel hurt when you don’t listen to me.”
- Take responsibility for your feelings.
- “I feel jealous.” vs. “You are making me jealous.”
- Use your feelings to help you make decisions.
- “How will I feel if I do this?” and “How will I feel if I don't?”
- Show respect for other people's feelings.
- Ask "How will you feel if I do this?" and "How will you feel if I don't?"
- Show understanding and acceptance of other people's feelings.
- “I understand why you feel frustrated. If I were in your place, I’d feel the same way.”
- Practice getting a positive value from emotions.
- Ask yourself: “How do I feel?” and “What would help me feel better?”
- Ask others “How do you feel?” and “What would help you feel better?”
- Avoid judging, criticizing, or lecturing others. Try to listen more than you talk.
- Instead of “Why are you crying? Don’t be such a baby! It can’t be that bad!” try “You seem upset. Do you
want to talk about it?”
Quick Tips
- Use three word sentences beginning with "I feel".
- Explore your own feelings instead of worrying about the motives of others.
- Take time to reflect on your feelings.
- Identify your fears and desires.
- Take responsibility for your emotions and happiness.
Emotional Wellness Resources
1The Fisher Institute for Wellness and Gerontology, Ball State University.
2Robbins, G., Powers, D., and Burgess, S. A Wellness Way of Life. McGraw-Hill, 2002.
3The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations:
www.eiconsortium.org
4Mayer & Salovey. (1997). Mayer-Salovey 4 Branch Model of Emotional Intelligence
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