Coping with Grief and Loss in the Workplace

By Debra Mattison, L.M.S.W., Palliative Care Consultation Service, Social Work

When you connect with a patient, you’re also at risk for experiencing loss. From my own experience and observation as a palliative care social worker, whether you’ve known a patient for a few minutes or provided care for years, patients can touch you. It’s a normal part of work as a health care provider.

Because we have different relationships and connections with patients, when a particular patient dies, how we deal with it is very personal. Health professionals may be confused about how they’re supposed to react to a patient’s death. Many have been trained to not show their emotions to patients, families or colleagues. We often place expectations on ourselves that to be “professional” and good at our jobs, we must be objective—a blank slate and unattached. But the reality is that we are human and have feelings just like everyone else. And it is best to acknowledge and express these feelings in healthy ways that work for you, while maintaining professional boundaries.

Whether we consciously choose to express grief or not, it will come out—sometimes in words and other times in physical and emotional ways such as headaches, loss of appetite, sleep changes, a need to withdraw, increased awareness of our own mortality and anxiety. It also is common for health care professionals to experience some of the common stages of grief when a patient dies. There is no order, scale or time limit when it comes to grieving. If you feel like you need help dealing with your feelings, seek support from a trained counselor—someone who can help put your grief into perspective.

Advice for dealing with loss and grief as a health care provider:

• Acknowledge your feelings.
• Find a quiet place to honor and reflect on what you’ve just experienced.
• Take a few minutes to talk with your peers or supervisor about your feelings.
• Relax by listening to the UMHS podcast “Guided Imagery for the Caregiver”:
• Support co-workers to the best of your ability.
• Find out if your department or unit offers debriefings or resources regarding the emotional demands of caring for patients and families. If not, suggest starting some type of debriefing.
• Take advantage of UMHS support services and resources, including the Employee Assistance Program (734-763-5409) and the monthly Schwartz Center rounds that focus on sharing feelings about the work we do.