Handling Conflict
 Conflict is Inevitable...but resolution is easier than you think
By Michael Moriarty, A.C.S.W., counselor, Employee Assistance Program
Conflict in the workplace can make us very tense. Enough so that we react too angrily and worsen the situation, or give in too easily and feel degraded. Avoiding conflict may seem like a quick and easy solution, but it only buys time…it doesn’t resolve anything.
When faced with workplace conflict, you may feel like you are in a no-win situation, and that what was once a good, reliable co-worker relationship is now damaged beyond repair. The related stress and anxiety can compromise your performance and self-worth. But have faith! There are many things you can do to achieve resolution and a mutually satisfying outcome. Many relationships can be saved—and conflicts resolved—with prompt intervention.
Managing conflict is the capacity—whether innate or learned—to rise above the issue at hand and fully appreciate and consider the needs, interests and issues of others.
 The first step toward achieving resolution is to set up a time to talk to the person with whom you are in conflict. Be respectful, flexible and dedicated to finding a mutually satisfactory solution. Commit to working it out together before bringing in a third party, but be open to asking a fair-minded individual to mediate, if necessary. (Check out the Conflict Resolution Toolkit for more information.)
By using relationship negotiation skills honed over a lifetime dealing with parents, siblings, children and friends, we all are capable of dealing with disputes successfully. Individuals who are successful at conflict resolution are those who are committed to their own interests, elevate the interests of others and consider the overall well-being of the relationship.
The truth is that conflict is inevitable. Equally true is the fact that conflict often can be resolved by taking care of how we talk to and treat each other.
There’s an old saying, “If you want peace, prepare for war.” I recommend a different take. “If you want peace, work harder to create it.”
If you have additional questions or would like guidance, contact the Employee Assistance Program via phone 734-763-5409, e-mail eap@umich.edu or on the Web. |
