By Emert White, M.D.
Visiting Instructor in Anesthesiology from Southampton
Before arriving in Ann Arbor I landed in New York en route for a short vacation in New England. I was met by some distant relatives, we picked up a hired car and followed them home. However, I promptly became separated from them and found myself lost in the South Bronx. I needed help. I saw a fine young man standing on a street corner with a couple of young ladies. Motorists would drive by slowly, wind down their windows and talk to him. I thought to myself, if anyone would know the directions to West Nyack, surely it would be this fellow. As I approached him I saw a bulge in his pocket and presumed he was pleased to see me. I explained to him that I was an Englishman abroad whom gotten himself hopelessly lost. He replied, "So what?" I felt that perhaps I ought to return to my car at that point. He offered to arrange a meeting with a couple of friends that he hung out with; Messer's Smith and Wesson. I declined the invitation and said that I really ought to be going. Three hours and sixty miles later I eventually reached my destination.
A few days later we headed north for New England making a promise to myself that I would not mention the war. Well, Americans did nothing else but talk about the war. We drove up as far as Acadia National Park, Maine, before returning back to New York.
Landing at Detroit Metro was quite a shock to my thermoregulatory system having left New York with the temperature in the 80's in a tee shirt, and arriving with the temperature in the 30's.
I had been advised by my predecessor that I would not be able to use the bathroom without a social security number, so I arrived prepared with my Foley.
The written portion of the driving test was an eye opener.
Q: A man with a white stick steps out in front of your vehicle. You carry on driving. True or false?
It's possible to get that question wrong and still pass the test. The key to being issued a driver's license is to stand in the box. You can have all the answers correct, but if you don't stand in the box, the receptionist will not recognize your very existence. Michigan drivers are surprisingly not bad at all. Have you seen those telly ads where a lawyer says if you would like to sue your doctor call 1-800-CALL-TOM. Well I was driving the other day when I saw Tom and a skunk lying in the middle of the road. There were skid marks adjacent to the skunk.
We tried to open an account at the bank the other day. The cashier informed me that I would have to deposit some money in my new account. I said, "That will be no problem. I'm loaded." She looked at me suspiciously, then appeared to relax as the dollar notes were placed on the till.
On my first day at work here at the University Hospital, I parked my car in the visitors' car park. I was amazed to be met by a man driving a small trolley car whom gave me a 30-yard ride to the elevator.
One cannot fail to be impressed by the high standard and sheer volume of equipment available. The concept of a holding room, where one could insert the necessary lines prior to surgery in relative tranquility seemed like a great idea. I was also impressed by the aggressive resuscitation of patients prior to emergency surgery. Burns are traditionally resuscitated according to the percentage surface area of the burn measured by using the palm of the hand which is one percent of the surface area. It is interesting to note that the surface area of the perineum is also one percent. This may explain the cause for fluid overload in a few cases.
I have been pleasantly surprised by the ability and the knowledge of the anesthesia residents. Although comparatively short, the training program is very thorough and very well-taught.
I believe it is traditional for the Brits to be invited for a barbecue and fireworks display on the Fourth of July to celebrate America's Independence Day. I wonder whether the Department will also stage a party to celebrate the inaugural flight of the Enola Gay.