This information is approved and/or reviewed by U-M Health System providers but it is not a tool for self-diagnosis or a substitute for medical treatment. You should speak to your physician or make an appointment to be seen if you have questions or concerns about this information or your medical condition. Exención de responsabilidad en Español | Complete disclaimer
Emotional Abuse
What is Emotional Abuse?
Emotional Abuse is any behavior used to control and mistreat another person.
Many people believe if they're not being physically hurt by their partner, they're not being abused. This is not true.
If you are being treated in a way that makes you upset, ashamed or embarrassed, you may be experiencing emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse follows a pattern; it happens over and over.
If your partner
- says mean things to you
- doesn’t let you make decisions
- threatens you
- keeps you away from friends, family and co-workers
- ignores your feelings
- puts you down
- calls you names
- insults you
- keeps you from sleeping
- does things that make you feel crazy
- tells you and others that you’re crazy
- tells you your decisions are bad
this is emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse goes with other forms of abuse but may also happen on its own.
If you’ve ever been told anything like this by your partner:
“You’re so stupid!’
“Nobody else would ever want you.”
“You look disgusting.”
“You always twist things around.”
“I don’t know why I put up with you!”
“You’ll never be good enough to do that.”
“You’re crazy!”
this is emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse ...
- does not get better over time. It only gets worse.
- can be more hurtful than physical abuse.
- can make you feel afraid, vulnerable, powerless and isolated.
can cause:
- depression
- anxiety
- constant headaches
- back, leg, arm and stomach problems
Living with verbal abuse such as
- blaming,
- ridiculing,
- insulting,
- swearing,
- yelling,
- threatening, and/or
- shaming
can lower your self-respect and make you feel useless and worthless.
If you have been abused
- you are not alone.
- it is not your fault.
- no one ever deserves to be abused in any way.
Help is available
Contact your Health Care Provider—we care.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 or
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
SAFE House Center Crisis Line
734-995-5444 or
734-973-2227 (TTY)
http://www.med.umich.edu/abusehurts/
Relationship Bill of Rights
I have the right:
- to an equal and healthy relationship with my partner
- to be respected
- to change my mind
- to kindness from my partner
- to emotional support
- to be listened to politely by my partner
- to have my own opinions, even if my partner disagrees
- to have my own feelings
- to clear and honest answers to questions that concern me
- to live free from accusation and blame
- to live free from criticism and judgment
- to have my work and interests spoken of with respect
- to encouragement
- to live free from emotional and physical threat
- to live free from angry outburst and rage
- to be called by no name that hurts, shames or puts me down
- to be respectfully asked rather than ordered
- to be myself as long as I am respectful of others
- to not have physical or sexual contact with my partner when I choose
January 2007
